I’ve been so alone for the past week, packing up my Mom’s apartment, bit by bit. With each item, memories have been getting triggered, and I’ve had to quash them lest I be overcome. There’s been so much sorting to be done: to I keep this? Do I give it away? Is this in goodContinue reading “Saying Goodbye is The Hardest”
Having used a walker myself when I was on chemo, I can safely say that everyone you see in public is using their walker totally wrong. Look next time. You’ll see them hunched over, unbalanced, their weight in front of them. It’s terribly unsafe. I was taught that you need to stand up straight, arms at your sides. If you can’t have them at your sides, you walker is at the wrong height for you. They’re adjustable and your weight should be centered so you don’t fall. This is why you see so many hip and should surgeries.
(and other things they don’t teach you in school) Well, so my Mom died. I guess you’ve figured that out if you saw my last video, which I forgot to post here when I recorded it (been a bit preoccupied and I’ve gotten my posting order all mixed up. Sue me). I really thought weContinue reading “The Surreal Experience of Watching a Person Die”
I actually recorded this before I left to be with my Mom (where I am now), but forgot to add it to the blog here. So, as they say, here it is. Do they say that? I guess I just did. Anyway…
So I guess I ask the world to forgive me if my thinking is off sometimes. I’m entrained to not trust what I see. I’m entrained to not believe what I hear. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Bringing to you another video, this time in 4k. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted anything anywhere, but I’ve hardly been idle. There have been many and sundry little things taking my attention away, and in this video I chat about what’s been occupying my time. Like writing new songs, for example. IContinue reading “Why Do I Do This?!”
This week’s reading takes us in a dark and unpleasant direction, but we can get through it if we stay strong and remember that we are a democracy. I’ve included the URLs to find your Senator and Representative in order to make call after call to direct them to assist YOU, since they are thereContinue reading “Tarot Tuesday Week of July 21, 2020 | Codename: The Tower”
When you send for one thing and have your expectations set but then it comes and you realize it was all a farce
Check out my most recent video where I discuss the latest doings of my life and an interesting new project I’m about to embark upon—I’m really excited about this one and plan to vlog about it so I hope you’ll join me on the journey. I expect to get started on that around the endContinue reading “Vloggy Vlog: Sour Jars, Updates, & A New Project!”
Self to Self: How was your day?Self to Self: Oh, okay I guess.Self to Self: What’s wrong?Self to Self: Nothing, really. I actually felt a bit better today than I have for the past few days.Self to Self: Well, that’s good!Self to Self: Sure.Self to Self: Yeah. I managed to get a few things done.Continue reading “How Was Your Day?”
Our conversation hadn’t exactly ended on that awkward point, we had talked a bit more and ended on the more usual and banal, “talk to you soon”. I didn’t expect it to be the next day, or the next, as I knew I’d made things weird. This is typical for me, as I feel as though I see things as they are and I say so. Kind of in a Naked Emperor way, if you will.
I venture out into the wondrous world to engage with nature and tell you what’s new in my life, and a host of Canada Geese and raping rapist ducks sing an accompaniment in the beautiful sunshine.
This belated Tarot Tuesday was especially powerful
There’s a certain manner, a certain niceness, and yet a specific insistence that they do not believe in any sort of spirit/beyond/God principle/scripture, regardless of whether or not they experienced any sort of religious upbringing or had done any kind of spiritual searching themselves at any point of time in their lives. There are aContinue reading “Suspiciously Arreligious People”
I’ve had this pattern ever since my cancer surgery back in the summer of 2017, where I get this terrible cramping that intensifies over the course of about 10 days, to the point where I’m really suffering and can’t stand the act of sitting up—until I can barely stay off the toilet for a dayContinue reading “My Strange Week of Pain”
This is a tremendous win for the Biden campaign, and a huge loss for Trump. It’s awesome to know that there are GOP members who will stand up for what’s right.
Climate change is a real thing. I won’t argue whether it’s man-made. We’ve done plenty to pollute Earth that it’s shameful to have that argument.
I don’t know about you, but I’m getting tired of using hand sanitizer everywhere I go; having to wear a mask every time I go out; having to disinfect my shoes and purchases every time I come in…being constantly vigilant in order to not become ill or to (gasp!) become a carrier. I suppose it’sContinue reading “Dear Diary, Feeling particularly empty today…maybe it’s just COVID blues?”
What does social anarchy have to do with gardening?
Not much in the way of blog posts or podcasts this week, simply due to the fact that I spent so much time on this one little thing that most likely will net me fuck-all.
I’ve been going through my YouTube videos and creating custom thumbnails for them using Canva. I can’t spend a lot of time doing this, which is why I’m just using an online tool, but I still find it a bit too much like my old design job, which caused me long-term and somehow traumatic injury. But I’m mostly having fun doing them.
Many of my fellow Christians in America have warned me over the years of exactly that, often telling me: “I feel sorry for you, because when the Antichrist comes you’re not even going to recognize him!”
I’m excited to bring you a new video version of this, as I get closer to the release of my upcoming EP, “The Story of Swallow”. It’s taken me years to release this material, and I’ve felt stagnant as an artist all this time, so getting the album out is cathartic for me. “Reconfiguration” wasContinue reading “Reconfiguration: Original Song by Auryaun (new video version)”
We are a society. We are one people. The homeless are a part of this society, and in fact, are a direct result of the way that our society currently functions. It’s our issue to solve, like it or not. Whether it’s through an income tax, a sales tax, a property tax (I like this one), or a combination of all of them, we need to house all of the people in our society. Housing is a basic human right, and leaving these people to suffer is a crime against humanity.
So then I’m in a place where not only can I not connect, but I am some kind of burden to society, a freak of nature, a huge misfit, unable to be my true self with anyone, anywhere.
This song is “Unnamed”. It’s very raw and emotional. I wrote it in 1993. I have yet to get a great studio version of it, but I’m planning on putting it on a future album. Possibly on “The Story of Swallow”–not sure. “Swallow” is taking an interesting direction at the moment. I apologize for theContinue reading “Unnamed”
Made this one via YouTube Capture. I got really comfortable recording these in my car (my “confession booth”), and I was using an app on my phone to record and upload these, but there wasn’t a great interface at the tie to give much of a description–I’m trying to add that info now, but it’sContinue reading “Confession Booth #5(?) | Losing count”
I’ve held fast to this notion that we need to create more beauty in the world, and that beauty is the only thing that really matters.
I wasn’t a happy camper when I had to head over to said pharmacy and was just in a lot of pain, so I grabbed what I needed and headed back home to get a cozy as I could. Luckily, it’s raining today (a strange thing for the SF Bay Area in April, though not unheard of).
Around late 2011, I felt that this song was a bit incomplete, so I wrote an intro verse. I’m no longer sure I like it, but here it is for you to ponder and/or enjoy. Or not. No obligations. I’m still incredibly frustrated with myself as a musician. It’s a passion for me, but IContinue reading “The Tightness Within, New Version: an Original Song by Auryaun”
It’s nearing the end of summer 2011, and I still haven’t finished my EP due to my chronic pain condition.
I went through a long period of time without singing. At all. Quite a few years, actually.
I’m reblogging this to hopefully widen the audience as I was heartened and shocked by some of the views expressed by the physician interviewed. How we are handling this epidemic could be vastly more intelligent and effective. What we’re doing at the moment will create unintended economic consequences that will continue for months after we’veContinue reading “Public-health physician urges more targeted and less of a “shotgun” approach to stemming the pandemic”
While I’m putting this out here in the world, the vocal melody has serious issues,
When the reporter points out the blatant “error”, he spins it as though she’s attacking him.
Come, my friends! Come hear my tales of woe and insomnia! Is it just me?
But most people are much, much more social than I, and I can imagine they’re going a bit stir crazy right now.I actually love being at home and just hanging out, but that’s not what the majority of people enjoy.
Written around 2009, this is a song about obsession and boundaries.
Why are people just walking around and shit, like there’s nothing going on?! There’s this constant, and I mean constant flow of people during he day going past my window on the sidewalk. They’re just strolling around. Maybe that’s harmless? Am I being too cautious?
I got home and went back into MailChimp, only to find that I’d automatically sent out the “thanks for subscribing” email out while I was shopping. YOW.
I was resolute, nay destined to conquer its disgustingness. I entertain the thought that I did so, by applying the well-wetted semi-cloth to the keypad in a vigorous, circular motion, being certain to not only hold the thing in such a way as to prevent any direct contact with the filthy surface
It would go like this: you’re just about to finish up having completed evacuating your bowels, when another girl and her friend come in. (It’s never done alone, always with at least one other person, preferable only with one. Too many others and it seems like you’re just a random bully.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch Kyle Kulinsky adroitly argues why the progressive movement might choose to sit at hone come this November. The DNC needs to shut up and listen this time. In Secular Talk, Kyle Kulinsky lays out the major points of the progressive movement’s disappointment with the current surging and support of Joe Biden. Here’s a hint:Continue reading “This is why I might not vote in November”
Standing at the pantry, Feeling oh so uninspired / Want something hard and crunchy, God forbid it send me ERird (Ogden Nash, eat your heart out) Okay, so I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in 2017. I had surgery in May, spent all summer healing from that (Worst. Ever.) and started 4 rounds of chemoContinue reading “The Low Residue Diet”
I’ve never gone through this before, but starting this morning at midnight and going until April 7, we are instructed to stay in our homes as much as possible. Grocery stores, banks, and other types of “essential services” will remain operational, but we are to limit our use as much as we can and stayContinue reading “Welp, my area is now under a three-week isolation/quarantine”
A little Danish fairytale to relax you (or terrify you, depending on your sensitivities) at the end of a long day. I make quite a few of these and will update the blog regularly. I hope you enjoy them.
I created this blog with a lot of initial energy, but today I have none. There are things I know I need to do, such as record a new chapter for my podcast (I got laryngitis and had to skip a few days but I seem to be over it now). I need to fixContinue reading “What do you do when you don’t feel like creating?”
So here’s my first proper blog post. Today I sat in my front yard for a while, listening to some ambient music while going on my pipe. Yes, it was cannabis. I’m a cancer-survivor. Cancer was a rough thing. It I guess you already figured that out. For me, I still have a lot ofContinue reading “My first real post”
I wrote this song a few years ago during a stressful time in my life, when it felt like I couldn’t manage all the demands life was putting on me: Motherhood, working, relationships. Especially relationships. I’ve been in a number of highly abusive relationships over the years, and it took me a long time toContinue reading “Give a listen: Blood and Stars”
My next post. I’m quite proud /s. My apologies to the photographer. I have lost your info.
Thanks for joining me! Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton Photo by Sebastian Voortman from Pexels